Saturday, July 4, 2015

I'm not stressed...

It's been a crazy month. This is our last night at our seasonal camper that we are planning on. We have it up for sale. Yep, that's what I said. It's for sale. We're hoping it sells really soon. Three weeks ago as I was sitting in the same chair I am now on our seasonal deck, I wrote up a list of pros and cons of continuing to own this versus a lake home. Not a cabin...a lake home. I proceeded to show my hubby the list. He looked at it pretty seriously and said "let's do it". I was stunned. I had had the same plea since well before we even considered purchasing this place.  I am not sure why he finally changed his mind, but I was super thrilled! Fast forward to today, we are waiting for Monday to come so that we can contact the inspector to go and check out the home that we signed a purchase agreement on in a town 20 minutes from where we live now. It's on a nice lake with 2.75 acres of our own property. I am still sitting here stunned that this has taken place. We looked at a total of 12 homes. Some of them were nasty for the price they were asking. One had absolutely gorgeous views, but the house was too small and there was no way to add on. The particular house we have chosen is not as big as I had hoped, but there is room for improvement. If all goes well with the inspection and appraisal from the bank, it will be ours by the end of July. I'm already dreaming and posting pins of what I want to do to the house to make it "ours".  We're praying it will be so.

In between now and then we have so much other stuff going on. On Tuesday of this week I start training for a new position at our church. I've been volunteering twice a week in the office since November, and one of the assistants is cutting back immensely on her hours so she can babysit her grandchild, so I'm taking over some of her responsibilities. I am looking forward to learning something new, but wishing it all wasn't happening right now! 

One week from today we are renewing our vows. It is 20 years this year, and we are celebrating on a tour boat in Duluth, MN. It has been exciting (and frustrating at times!) to prepare for this event. It will be so much fun, though! After the weekend is over with, we head home to prepare for the following weekend...hubby and I are going on an 8-day cruise in the Southern Caribbean. I cannot wait - after the craziness of everything going on over the last several months I am praying I can just relax and not think too much about everything back at home, especially since there's going to be so much to do when we return. The kids are spending the time with Grandma, so it will truly be a vacation. 

When we get back, even more craziness begins. We're hoping that all the paperwork will be ready to sign on the house, and we should be preparing our move. Then we get our old house ready to put on the market. Our daughter will start PSEO/homeschool mid- August, and our son will start preparing to head back to a private school for another year neat the end. The MIL wants to visit one weekend, hubby has two concerts to perform at, and we're also hoping to fit a rummage sale in there somewhere and get rid of stuff we don't want to move. 

I am praying nothing else comes up that will be added to our list of things to do, as we're feeling the stress already - at least I am. My health has not been doing very well over the last month, either, and it's been hard to keep up with everything most days.

All in all, we're truly excited for everything going on, and it's all good. I just never expected to have to prepare for so much all at once! But God is good, and He's watching over us. :-)

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Three Long Years

Today I had a bit of time to myself while I'm sitting here at our camper. Hubby, the kids, and a friend decided to go into town for a movie because they were tired of the rain. I read for a while, but got restless. Then I sanded our deck floor a little bit until my knees got sore. Then I tried reading some more but couldn't get into it very well. My mind started's actually been wandering a lot lately. Then I remembered my blog and thought I would check it out and see what kind of crazy things I used to write about. Yep. Crazy. I will probably write more non-sensical stuff, but I feel like writing today.

Life has changed drastically since the last time I wrote. First, my mom ended up with cancer. Squamous cell lymphona of the tongue. During her surgery and treatment, I basically lived in the cities taking care of her while we 'lived' at the Hope Lodge. Then we got her well enough to go home. A year later hell broke loose again. My oldest brother was diagnosed with colon cancer, and my dad had a heart attack with triple bypass surgery. My brother went in for surgery and my dad was on the road to healing, only to find out months later that he had cancer. AMML (acute myeloid leukemia). Non-curable. Again, for a month at a time I stayed with my dad in the cities while he went through treatment, going into remission twice, but not staying there for long either time. This last November we discovered that the leukemia had come back for the second time, and even though we tried searching for other options in vain, there was nothing we could do. The horrible, hateful cancer took him away from us on a beautiful Saturday afternoon less than a month ago on April 18th. I started grieving for him the moment I got the call from my sister a year ago February telling us the diagnosis. I hurt for him; I ached. I cried; I became angry. During his last couple of days with us I couldn't even stop crying. I would cry in front of him, I would cry with others, I would cry by myself. Now that he's gone, I don't know what to think or feel. Most of the time I feel like I'm making it through, that I'm handling things well, then something reminds me of him and I re-live those last few days with him. Then it all becomes so fresh and raw again, and I have to try so hard to think about something else. I keep trying to tell myself that I am not the only one to ever lose their dad and that they have been able to continue on. My father-in-law passed away only two years after we married, so I know my husband has gone through it. It's a fact of life. But it just doesn't make sense.

My mom is doing well now, health-wise. She is missing my dad and posts things to his Facebook wall often. I know it's her way of dealing with losing her husband and I'm okay with that. His months away from home going through treatment taught her well on how to live alone, but it's still a hard adjustment for her. She says that she wants to FaceTime with him often and then remembers he's not in the cities.

I know The Lord will help my family through this and the pain of losing my dad will fade, but the memories thankfully will always be there. He was a special guy and always made me smile.